agogelogs | WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR

WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR—

WHO? Everybody!
WHAT? BASE training, between investigating the fish.
WHEN? Still outside time and space, in the aether between dimensions.
ANYTHING ELSE? Please warn for anything besides physical violence and move to a personal journal if it's beyond PG-13.

I want to wring out your evil thoughts;

I want to eat out your bitter heart

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

OVERVIEW

A couple weeks into exploration, recruits receive a bulletin on their BCEs.

@SCOUT | @ALL

report to the foyer at 0600 hours tomorrow for a briefing; it'll be a couple weeks yet, but you're headed to jhashch, circa 382.92

you'll receive a datapack that goes over the location in detail, but we're still acquiring location-appropriate clothing. you'll receive your equipment in full before departure. until then, you've more than a little training to accomplish.

the commander will lay out your regime tomorrow. don't make her wait.

Anyone who arrives early will catch the end of an argument between Grothia, Chiron, and Young. Or, more accurately, Grothia and Young.

If you listen carefully to Grothia's raised voice and Young's collective jeer over Chiron's calm, placating tones, you'll learn Grothia and Young are required to attend this summit, in a show of good faith. And it's a matter Grothia has only addressed with your scout now. She storms from the room in a flurry of white feathers and the crows sulk for the rest of the day.

Needless to say, she is furious. She is not a fan of spiders.

THE MAIN FOYER

The foyer has been overhauled. The walls are dark and impersonal; while not terribly different from their usual steel, they're slick and clean in a way BASE is not, so polished you can see your distorted reflection. And this sterile surface is only a backdrop to architecture reminiscent of the height of the Baroque period: decadent, dark, and sometimes pointlessly opulent.

Many of the rooms are only gently lit, leaving long shadows, and sometimes you might spot movement out of the corner of your eye. It's dark and cool, almost like a cellar, but by no means even a fraction as musty. It's as well ventilated as BASE can ever be. And, while some rooms simply acclimate you to your upcoming surroundings, others serve clear purpose.

Much of the furniture is odd in shape, casting swooping silhouettes and made for creatures much larger and rounder than humans. But what is meant for human use is just as opulent, decked in rich fabrics and carved wood.

A few rooms along the foyer's rim are bright, with large "windows" (high definition screens, much like the ones in your rooms) that display the rusty landscape of Jhashch. It's possible to see various lifeforms wandering the jagged terrain, hyper realistic, though the images will loop if you watch long enough. Sometimes, you might even spot an undisguised Aranean.

Welcome to your training grounds.

TRAINING

All recruits must train extensively in each of the following categories. This is emphasized and revisited again and again, until it is drilled into memory. But this time, it isn't like the shooting and running of the Great War. This is a little more...refined.

However, it's not as easy to tell when you've messed up, so COST has repurposed some Dactly droids. Each recruit will have one droid assigned to follow them; when a mistake is made, it will hurl a glitter bomb at the person and cheerfully inform them, "You have been consumed." 🎊 The glitter is just as difficult to remove as you'd expect.

ETIQUETTE

Etiquette is split into several key elements. Recruits are repeatedly reminded: if your etiquette is poor enough, an Aranean may eat you, diplomacy and goodwill be damned. They take poor form deadly serious.

» POSTURE

Araneans see power in perfect posture, whether sitting or standing. You are always expected to be at your tallest and most intimidating, with shoulders straight back and hands placed in your lap or on your glass or cutlery. It's poor form to turn your face down or away when someone is talking to you; Araneans favor eye contact. It is advised to look at the largest, middle two eyes of an Aranean.

» CONVERSATION

Be interesting; this is no place for wallflowers. Speak with authority on topics you know or, at least, can fake. What matters is confidence, aggression, and dominating the conversation. Recruits will compile three topics that they can speak of confidently at length.

» ENTERTAINMENT

Characters should choose a skill to hone into something presentable in the Court. This can be anything, whether art, music, shooting, sword fighting, etc. Something they can show off and demonstrate, that they're sure they'll dominate in. And note: While dominance and cruelty are powerful in their own right, there's something to be said for anyone who can distract and charm another to their doom.

However, don't go in swinging your hardest. Always keep an ace up your sleeve, just in case.

» DANCE

Like most warrior cultures of the past, Araneans are obsessed with dancing as much as appearance. Their whole purpose is an intricate display of steps and motions and memorization of positions. For people with fewer than eight legs, it is mercifully a little easier.

A little. You still have to learn at least three common dances to satisfy your Dactyl droid.

» DINING

Meals are taken very seriously by Araneans, with a set order and customs that are observed almost obsessively.

SKULGA: All meals start with a glass of alcoholic drink, chosen carefully by the hosting family. This is to ensure no drink or glass has been poisoned. As such, all meals begin with every guest skulling a glass.

CURATH-MIR: The first person to eat is always highest in rank. To eat at the same time is to challenge them and attempt to take their place...or that of the food on their plate.

LAMBRAT: A napkin of sorts, but one you bring to match your outfit. It is tied to the left wrist and used during the meal like a typical napkin. They are usually of very expensive and boldly colored material, which you can use to motion servants without looking at them. You don't want to break eye contact with your conversation partner.

COLPATHA: A dish that is the first course of every banquet. It is raw meat of a choice cut and presented in a bowl over open flame on hot coals, with appropriate utensils. You have to cook the meat yourself. It is also expected to be something of a spectacle, by doing tricks with how you cook.

CUTLERY: There are no forks here; only a series of intricate, specially curved knives. And no, you can't use your hands.

» BOWING

Spiders are prone to display. For an Aranean, bowing involves extending all limbs of their upper body and bending at the main knee of their legs, all whilst keeping the upper body stiff and face forward; after all, eye contact is still key. It's somewhat reminiscent of this little spider, though with the raised limbs spread wider, like a ballerina.

For humans, it's more difficult to execute; we have fewer limbs, after all. Instead, both men and women step forward, extend the dominant leg back, lift both arms and bend at the knees. It is, quite possibly, the most precarious balancing act you've done in a while. For men, only one arm is lifted and the other tucked behind the back. For women, well...

» DIPLOMACY

Recruits are encouraged to help each other grasp the art of backstabbing; COST understands it is a nebulous art and carefully honed with time. Better to allow the experts to educate, than to muddle along without that spark.

That said, if you encounter diplomats from other groups, you're expected to conduct yourself as you would around an Aranean...which, unfortunately, includes the Regency.

GROOMING

Araneans are obsessed with appearance, grooming, and presentation, if the etiquette wasn't enough, so it's time for COST to take a ~spa day~. At least here you won't get lice.

Another series of repurposed droids are now your hairdressers, manicurists, and personal groomers. It's nothing truly dramatic and mostly intended to get everyone up to standard, with optional courses in makeup and hair-styling for full banquets and other occasions. Hair can be styled to taste, as long as it's neat and isn't too labor intensive; recruits are expected to maintain it and the rest of their appearance afterwards.

From here on out, no one comes to breakfast or dinner without a shower, their hair done, or nails cleaned. Presenting yourself as a mess is disrespectful and will be similarly as punished.

Also, COST is far too broke to get you actual maidservants, so it's important to remember what is realistic for a single person to accomplish.

LANGUAGE

When conversing with humans, Araneans will speak in a language the BCE can translate, but names will remain as they are. Aranean custom doesn't attribute meanings to names, since so many children are born in a single clutch of eggs. But it's impossible for humans to make the sounds necessary for their language, so Araneans will tolerate screw-ups—to an extent.

There are recordings of Aranean names, pronounced by an Aranean speaker (it sounds like a series of hisses and clicks) and then the nearest approximation by a human, which is middling at best and involves a pale imitations of those sounds.

Here are some examples of what human-spoken Aranean sounds like, to give you a vague idea: Jhashch, Thsh, Chch, Shai, Aythy, Shch.

Also, you should always use a spider's title. Whether a noble lady or lord to the High Queen herself, failing to use a title is a sign of wanton disrespect...or a challenge. Either option is inadvisable when COST is trying to garner respect and curry favor with the royal court.

COMBAT

For general combat training, the gym and armory are open and available. A large mechanical spider sits in the former; Chiron has activated it for the recruits' use. Roughly the size of a male Aranean, its armor is reminiscent of Aranean plate and possesses similar weak points. The most striking of these is the abdomen and their comparatively fragile joints. The robot is unintelligent, but moves as an Aranean does, with agile leaps and viciously quick strikes.

It also fires lasers, which is less than accurate, but pay that no mind.

» DUELING

The rapiers recruits receive serve a purpose. It's time to learn renaissance-style fencing, as they are the standard dueling weapon for the Aranean people. Unlike the stamina building exercises of Gallipoli, everyone will train for agility and precision. This will cover everything from sprints, lunges, when and how to strike human and Aranean opponents, and—most useful of all—how to maintain your balance. Training lasts for three hours every morning after breakfast. It's heavy on leg and shoulder work.

It becomes very apparent why some people spend their whole lives devoted to the sword: This isn't a skill you pick up overnight. Characters who know a different style of swordwork will be better off than those who have never trained before. A poor man's weapon this is not.

Then there are the duelist courtesies and rules:

To issue a challenge: strike your opponent lightly with an open palm across the cheek.
To accept the duel: strike your challenger back in a similar fashion.
To refuse the duel: bow and step backwards.

When a duel begins, the duelists will meet at an agreed time and place. After meeting in the center of the room, they will hold their weapons up with two hands, so their opponent can see no one has tampered with the weapons; after the inspection, they take three steps back while still facing each other, before turning back to their starting position.

Matches last until the first serious injury, rather than first blood. The ideal is to in some way incapacitate your opponent. The droids will be the judge of that in training; they'll shower you in glitter should you lose and cheerfully intone, "You have been grievously wounded."

At the end of a duel, both sides will bow (if able) and then be led—or carried—off the floor, holding their weapons in front of them.

» RITE OF SUCCESSION

There's also the bare-handed brawl, which is the peak of Aranean dueling. However, bare-handed brawls are matches to the death and an absolute way to settle a dispute without killing a whole family. As such, it's the usual method of succession amongst family members.

» GAMING

There are lectures on video games as fine art, famous Aranean gamers and game designers, and pioneers of different genres. But besides thorough education on common terminology, game training mostly consists of, well, playing video games. There is an entire room dedicated to the art, with multiple screens connected to consoles of all types.

The ultimate goal, in the briefest of terms, is to learn not to suck.

For veteran gamers, practice is encouraged and experience with genres you ignore in favor of your favorite titles is all but demanded. Spiders have it all, from shooters to rhythm games to role-playing to virtual reality. As long as it's got that extra bit of violent spice and has a clear winner or loser, it's all good.

So don't be a scrub and play the damn games.

FIRST AID

First aid features a crash course in toxins popular in the High Court. These are primarily neurotoxins; the most popular variety is imported from the people of the Fafnirian System and known as Drip Venom. It is almost always fatal to Araneans, but requires a higher dosage to meet the same effectiveness on humans; if you find yourself poisoned by it, you may very well survive if you administer an antidote quickly enough.

Necrotoxins are primarily used when the goal isn't to kill, but to maim. They're intended to destroy the receiver's beauty and social standing.

Characters will learn how to use the antitoxin injectors in their inventory by practicing with an empty shell and simulating injections in their thighs. The nanites contained within the injectors are powerful and will neutralize most varieties of toxins. They will at least help counter male spider bites (females can inject much higher quantities of venom, which may make a single injector relatively useless) and extremely mild Ymir poisoning.

HIERARCHY

All recruits have their place in the Aranean hierarchy and will learn to weaponize it to the best of their ability. However, since COST is lacking in Aranean senses, this training relies on the identity recruits claim for themselves (though, if needed, you can assume Grothia told them to train in a specific category; she won't have anyone jeopardize the mission).

It is also stressed that there is no guarantee that anything you do or say on Jhashch goes unobserved, whether by Araneans, their servants, or their spies. To an Aranean, everything is about power and displays of power. To be complacent is to be weak and, consequently, prey.

Using the Araneans as a guide, now might be a good time to adopt a false hierarchy you can fall into when "alone" with other COST members. In this framework, female characters of artificial origins rank at the top and male characters of magical origins sit at the bottom, but there are likely more than a few gray areas for members of COST.

But better safe than sorry. In the High Court, there is no such thing as being too paranoid, because these are apex predators who always hunt the weakest first.

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

NAV. NETWORK LOGS OOC MEMES PLURK

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Much to Sebastian's pleasure, this new mission seems perfectly up his alley. This is the sort of thing that's as natural as breathing to him, since a Faustian demon is well-suited to the particularities of a vicious noble court. He spends a few days learning everything he can about Jhashch, and he's pleased to find there's very little he isn't already quite experienced in. As such, the curiosities of where they've landed for the time being are all but abandoned, since he instead turns his focus to preparing for the next mission. Or probably more accurately, helping everyone else prepare... ]

i. conversation

[ It's mealtime, so what better time to practice the idea that they should be quite conversational. It's probably a bit of an odd contrast, since already, Sebastian seems to have taken to these strict etiquette standards, but he's still very much dressed in the utilitarian clothing rather than the finery they'll be wearing soon. But still, as they enjoy (?) their meals, Sebastian's eyes are very much on your own. ]

a. his area of expertise
This is a prime opportunity to refine the skill of conversation, is it not? Considering we are to present ourselves as experts of a field, I imagine it important to decide on those topics well beforehand.

[ He takes a sip of his drink thoughtfully, but seemingly still quite natural pause. As he sets it down again, there's a cool smile of interest, and Sebastian nods. ]

I do not wish to bore you, that said. So may I ask first— Are you familiar with Earth?

[ Unless Sebastian already knows you are, in which case the question will instead be "are you interested in history?" ]
b. your area of expertise
[ But as the conversation naturally starts to trail off, Sebastian gestures politely as if prompting. His smile is easy and amiable, but unless you're a smooth talker yourself, you're very suddenly on the spot. ]

So, what about you? Tell me something interesting about yourself. This may be a somewhat direct way of learning about my new coworkers, admittedly, but it is a chance I will gladly take. It is a setting far more allowing of it than muddy trenches, certainly.

ii. danse macabre

[ Trying to get your dactyl droid to leave you alone about dancing lessons is difficult to do alone, so finding a dancing partner might make the process easier. It's the area that Sebastian is probably most happy to help in, since much to his surprise, the dances are already ones he knows. It isn't exactly often he's gotten to use them (such dances aren't quite fashionable in 1889 anymore), but luckily, demons have quite sharp memories. Even if it's been a century or two since he tried the steps, he has the advantage of perfect memory to help.

So if he happens across someone attempting to pick up the steps on their own, he'll quite politely step in. ]

Pardon me— Would you like a partner to dance? It makes it quite a bit easier to learn.

iii. time to d-d-d you know

[ Personally, Sebastian is glad that their next stop isn't all high society. Those blood-thirsty hints appeal to him greatly, and really, he thinks he might actually like Jhashch. Being "prey" may not be ideal, but the challenge of it definitely appeals to him. He's used to fitting into the role of a dangerous lesser, so this is really just a more exciting version of it. But. That at least hardly matters among recruits. It's time for dueling training after breakfast (though as usual, he eats as little as possible), and happily takes to picking up the elegant sword.

After the ritual slapfight, he takes his position and holds up his sword with both hands for inspection. Though as he does so, he does peek past it to look at his opponent. ]

Out of curiosity... How familiar are you with dueling like this?

[ There's definitely a tone in his voice that seems like he's trying to decide whether to take it easy on you or not... But don't worry, he's really not going to. You're welcome? ]

iv . ragequit

[ But if there's an area he's decidedly not experienced at... it's video games. This is the one part that he's not nearly as skilled with, much to his own frustration, though there's quite a learning curve. Even with being exposed to so much more technology in COST, he's still coming from the point in time where steam engines are rather novel. So you have the rather unfortunate luck of being teamed up with Sebastian in a co-op game a lot like Grand Theft Auto V. This would probably be a lot more fun if you weren't playing through competitive modes with the equivalent of your grandpa that barely knows how email works. ]

Ah, dear.

[ It's not the sort of thing you want to hear, especially since your character's health suddenly takes a sharp nosedive as a rocket powered grenade blows up suspiciously near your character. This isn't the first time it's happened either. Is he doing this on purpose? It's hard to tell, since he looks at his controller with a puzzled look. ]

This is... more difficult than it looks.

[ don't let your Gamer Rage take over. or do. whatever is most fun. ]

v . wildcard

[ The usual! Choose your own prompt or plot a special one with me. I'm happy to accommodate any ideas you might have, so feel free to hit me up. Alternately, if there's a particular area (minus the vidya) that you'd like for Sebastian to be a "tutor" for your character, just leave a comment with which one and I'll write a custom prompt! I didn't want to write a prompt where I'm godmodding someone into this, so consider this another option that I need your input on. i'm so not kidding this is his fuckin jam yall ]

[Chiron's used to a far rougher approach to swordsmanship - gods knew that fights like this were common enough in his own time and place - but he is not above learning completely new styles. The emphasis on precision placated the part of him that was every part the archer he had been summoned to the Grail War as, and it could possibly help speed mastery along.

He'd have to see.]

This style? Completely new. Swords overall? I taught others.

[Chiron's response is honest and forthright, and he's more than ready to get into it.]

Ah, then that is something we have in common. I have taught a few people to weild a sword as well. Though most recently, it was this style, admittedly.

[ It's the sort of thing that a proper young earl should learn, after all. If challenged to a duel, he's honorbound to accept the challenge. Though of course if someone were to, they would likely meet a quick death at Sebastian's hands rather than put his master in danger, but. These things happen.

Sebastian nods, then settles into a more proper stance to begin. ]

Hopefully you will enjoy it. It is more like a dance than swordplay, really. So, shall we?

I envy your advantage. My weapon of choice is the bow, and the swords of my own time were much broader and suited for a different sort of combat.

[But enough pretext. Chiron gets into position as well, and after all the (in his opinion, over the top) opening formalities are done, he gives a short nod.]

Let's.

[And with that, there's no pretext. He moves forward quickly and lunges, arm out, blade angled downwards to strike at the waist.]

[ It briefly occurs to him that he certainly could "cheat" quite easily, since it's hardly as if he has to keep his being all that secret, but Chiron is pleasant, interesting company. It's not much, but keeping Sebastian's interest is a way to earn a bit of his respect, and so even though he could tap into a bit more of his natural abilities, he decides against it. Playing fair is how he'll show his respect, though quietly. That, and it would also be a bit boring, if he's honest.

So when the sword comes, Sebastian's movement in turn is fluid and natural, but not impossible. His blade turns down to catch Chiron's outstretch blade and stop it from hitting its target as he turns his wrist to catch the blade and push it up. It's not overly strong, but it still may catch Chiron off balance and unable to recover. But the effect is at least two-fold, since Sebastian has to reposition his sword as well. He turns the blade in his hand slightly, turning the upward motion into an upward slash as he steps forward. At the very least, it's likely to push Chiron back a step. ]

[Chiron is not so easily thrown off balance. The minute that he feels his sword disengaged, he begins to retreat. One step, then another, his sword moved to a defensive position. It angles across his chest at a 45 degree angle, blocking the slash but leaving him little room to extend his arm.

So instead he retreats another step, extending that same arm as he does so. He just blocked an upwards slash, and so he re-engages with Sebastian's blade with force, close to the hilt, planning to use some force to force his hand aside and then hit the chest.]

[ ooc; and apologies for the delay! april is a woefully busy travel month but I didn't want to hiatus and miss spider time rip... I appreciate your patience! ]

[ The dance continues, and Sebastian dully feels an appreciation for Chiron's skill not unlike how he had for Agni. He may be hopelessly arrogant and self-confident, but he does tend to hold a deep appreciation for anyone that can go toe to toe with him. Chiron retreats and Sebastian advances, so when Chiron catches the blade with force, it's somewhat successful. Sebastian's grip becomes iron, so his hand stays, but the sword is pushed back and closer to him.

At that point, he cracks a smile instead of a politely neutral expression. ]

My, my, for being unfamiliar, you are not exactly bad at this.

[ He keeps the grip there, not letting the Chiron bear down on him too much, but the angle is awkward to push back without tapping into what he would consider cheating. He keeps the sword in place, but less elegantly, brings his knee up between them. If Chiron is close enough, it's likely to hit, but regardless, may force him back before Sebastian is the one that has to retreat. ]

[ooc: Hey man don't even worry about it. It happens, and I'm so hype!]

[Chiron suspects that the real strength he has is speed, above and beyond anything else. He can move away and avoid getting hit until there's a good opening for him to take advantage of, and the rest is lightly bullshitting his way through the sword work.

Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it, but it is the style he's reliant upon, and the one that earns him praise.]

Only because I've used other swords before, I suspect.

[Chiron does see where he can hit as Sebastian brings his knee up, and he takes the opportunity to attack. He'll accept the risk.]

Edited 2018-04-17 23:19 (UTC)

[ It likely works out well for both of them, since if Sebastian manages to hit Chiron, there's a strength behind that kick that's definitely not human. It's not bone-shattering, but Sebastian is testing Chiron's strength perhaps a little more earnestly. He's curious, and that's not really a good thing. However, being in so close, Chiron gets an equal opportunity to do the same. Chiron's sword catches Sebastian's arm and draws blood, but as the rules dictate, that's not the end of the match.

Feeling the sting, Sebastian will quickly withdraw before attacking again, at least. He's competitive, so he doesn't want to give Chiron an opportunity to inflict something that might make him lose. ]

[Chiron's not above taking the hit and doling it out. What Sebastian delivers is quite powerful of course, but it isn't a blow from another Heroic Spirit. It's nothing in comparison to what he has been accustomed to in a hard fight.

With Sebastian's withdrawl, Chiron pursues. His footwork remains solid enough, even though he's sure that Sebastian will return fire with everything he's got.]

[ this ... is ... the worst.

He doesn't know how many times he got shot at by his personal droid for missing a beat or a step in the particular dance he's trying to master (or just, not fuck up in general). The cheerful 'you've been devoured' message doesn't help matters any, and neither do the glitter bombs... Heine brushes them off his shoulders irritably, sending a shower of them drift to the floor. If that droid said that to him one more time, he was going to kick it across the hall.

He gets the thing about diplomacy, probably maybe in that it's important to get all of these things right before they drop their asses on spider land for real. It would be something worse than just glitter, then. ]

Seems like you have an abundance of confidence.

[ when Sebastian approaches, Heine is just going to let out an unimpressed sound in the back of his throat, his gaze wary and annoyed. ]

Whatever, just don't complain afterwards.

A fair amount. [ He confesses rather bluntly... But he doesn't seem boastful about the matter, but just very self-assured. ] I have taught dance before, so this is quite familiar territory.

[ Sebastian glances at the glitter on Heine's shoulders, but his attention is quickly back to him with a genial smile. Whatever he thinks of the glitter, it seems that he's at least keeping those remarks to himself. ]

So would you expect to be leading the dance or to be following?

Which is easier?

[ he doesn't really care about the social or hierarchical aspects of dancing... it's just something the droid says he needs to learn, and learn fast, so he's going to try to cheat as much as he can. ]

Neither.

[ Sebastian raises a finger in a gesture as if demonstrating something, and his tone shifts to match it. He's taking on the role of a teacher to a probably somewhat annoying capacity... He's just Like This, unfortunately. ]

It is a burden equally shared by both parties. One foul step by one, and the entire dance is imperfect. Both parties must be aware of every step and able to account for any nuances of their partner's particular style.

[ A pause, and then he adds: ] ...I would say that this level of perfection is necessary, but if not, then I suppose following is somewhat easier, provided you can fall in line with the leader's steps.

Tch.

[ he clicks his tongue, annoyed and not bothering to hide his expression full of Doubt at this guy's ability to teach him how to. At this rate, being spider dinner is pretty much a certainty... ]

Enough talking about it. Just show me already.

[ Ah... This impatience is familiar. Sebastian is quietly amused, since he wonders if this is what his young master would turn out when he's not quite so young, but. If he has any say in the matter, he won't make it that long.

Though at least Sebastian doesn't tease like he would to Ciel. He holds out his hands formally and elegantly, a clear gesture for Heine to take them. ]

Then let us begin. I will hold your hands in the proper positions, so just mind your feet and try to follow the rhythm.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR—

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iii

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me every time i write a sword fight: i have no idea what i'm doing

Oh dude you're fine, I'm half-remembering fencing in high school. Also lmk if I get too anime here.

LMAO I FEEL THAT SO SAME... GOD

I HATE THIS FRANCHISE EVERYONE'S OP AS A RULE it makes fight scenes hard

mood honestly

why is anime like this

ii.

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