WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR—

[agogemod]

WHO? Everybody!
WHAT? BASE training, between investigating the fish.
WHEN? Still outside time and space, in the aether between dimensions.
ANYTHING ELSE? Please warn for anything besides physical violence and move to a personal journal if it's beyond PG-13.

I want to wring out your evil thoughts;

I want to eat out your bitter heart

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

OVERVIEW

A couple weeks into exploration, recruits receive a bulletin on their BCEs.

@SCOUT | @ALL

report to the foyer at 0600 hours tomorrow for a briefing; it'll be a couple weeks yet, but you're headed to jhashch, circa 382.92

you'll receive a datapack that goes over the location in detail, but we're still acquiring location-appropriate clothing. you'll receive your equipment in full before departure. until then, you've more than a little training to accomplish.

the commander will lay out your regime tomorrow. don't make her wait.

Anyone who arrives early will catch the end of an argument between Grothia, Chiron, and Young. Or, more accurately, Grothia and Young.

If you listen carefully to Grothia's raised voice and Young's collective jeer over Chiron's calm, placating tones, you'll learn Grothia and Young are required to attend this summit, in a show of good faith. And it's a matter Grothia has only addressed with your scout now. She storms from the room in a flurry of white feathers and the crows sulk for the rest of the day.

Needless to say, she is furious. She is not a fan of spiders.


THE MAIN FOYER

The foyer has been overhauled. The walls are dark and impersonal; while not terribly different from their usual steel, they're slick and clean in a way BASE is not, so polished you can see your distorted reflection. And this sterile surface is only a backdrop to architecture reminiscent of the height of the Baroque period: decadent, dark, and sometimes pointlessly opulent.

Many of the rooms are only gently lit, leaving long shadows, and sometimes you might spot movement out of the corner of your eye. It's dark and cool, almost like a cellar, but by no means even a fraction as musty. It's as well ventilated as BASE can ever be. And, while some rooms simply acclimate you to your upcoming surroundings, others serve clear purpose.

Much of the furniture is odd in shape, casting swooping silhouettes and made for creatures much larger and rounder than humans. But what is meant for human use is just as opulent, decked in rich fabrics and carved wood.

A few rooms along the foyer's rim are bright, with large "windows" (high definition screens, much like the ones in your rooms) that display the rusty landscape of Jhashch. It's possible to see various lifeforms wandering the jagged terrain, hyper realistic, though the images will loop if you watch long enough. Sometimes, you might even spot an undisguised Aranean.

Welcome to your training grounds.

TRAINING

All recruits must train extensively in each of the following categories. This is emphasized and revisited again and again, until it is drilled into memory. But this time, it isn't like the shooting and running of the Great War. This is a little more...refined.

However, it's not as easy to tell when you've messed up, so COST has repurposed some Dactly droids. Each recruit will have one droid assigned to follow them; when a mistake is made, it will hurl a glitter bomb at the person and cheerfully inform them, "You have been consumed." 🎊 The glitter is just as difficult to remove as you'd expect.


ETIQUETTE

Etiquette is split into several key elements. Recruits are repeatedly reminded: if your etiquette is poor enough, an Aranean may eat you, diplomacy and goodwill be damned. They take poor form deadly serious.

» POSTURE

Araneans see power in perfect posture, whether sitting or standing. You are always expected to be at your tallest and most intimidating, with shoulders straight back and hands placed in your lap or on your glass or cutlery. It's poor form to turn your face down or away when someone is talking to you; Araneans favor eye contact. It is advised to look at the largest, middle two eyes of an Aranean.

» CONVERSATION

Be interesting; this is no place for wallflowers. Speak with authority on topics you know or, at least, can fake. What matters is confidence, aggression, and dominating the conversation. Recruits will compile three topics that they can speak of confidently at length.

» ENTERTAINMENT

Characters should choose a skill to hone into something presentable in the Court. This can be anything, whether art, music, shooting, sword fighting, etc. Something they can show off and demonstrate, that they're sure they'll dominate in. And note: While dominance and cruelty are powerful in their own right, there's something to be said for anyone who can distract and charm another to their doom.

However, don't go in swinging your hardest. Always keep an ace up your sleeve, just in case.

» DANCE

Like most warrior cultures of the past, Araneans are obsessed with dancing as much as appearance. Their whole purpose is an intricate display of steps and motions and memorization of positions. For people with fewer than eight legs, it is mercifully a little easier.

A little. You still have to learn at least three common dances to satisfy your Dactyl droid.

» DINING

Meals are taken very seriously by Araneans, with a set order and customs that are observed almost obsessively.

• SKULGA: All meals start with a glass of alcoholic drink, chosen carefully by the hosting family. This is to ensure no drink or glass has been poisoned. As such, all meals begin with every guest skulling a glass.


• CURATH-MIR: The first person to eat is always highest in rank. To eat at the same time is to challenge them and attempt to take their place...or that of the food on their plate.


• LAMBRAT: A napkin of sorts, but one you bring to match your outfit. It is tied to the left wrist and used during the meal like a typical napkin. They are usually of very expensive and boldly colored material, which you can use to motion servants without looking at them. You don't want to break eye contact with your conversation partner.


• COLPATHA: A dish that is the first course of every banquet. It is raw meat of a choice cut and presented in a bowl over open flame on hot coals, with appropriate utensils. You have to cook the meat yourself. It is also expected to be something of a spectacle, by doing tricks with how you cook.


• CUTLERY: There are no forks here; only a series of intricate, specially curved knives. And no, you can't use your hands.

» BOWING

Spiders are prone to display. For an Aranean, bowing involves extending all limbs of their upper body and bending at the main knee of their legs, all whilst keeping the upper body stiff and face forward; after all, eye contact is still key. It's somewhat reminiscent of this little spider, though with the raised limbs spread wider, like a ballerina.

For humans, it's more difficult to execute; we have fewer limbs, after all. Instead, both men and women step forward, extend the dominant leg back, lift both arms and bend at the knees. It is, quite possibly, the most precarious balancing act you've done in a while. For men, only one arm is lifted and the other tucked behind the back. For women, well...

» DIPLOMACY

Recruits are encouraged to help each other grasp the art of backstabbing; COST understands it is a nebulous art and carefully honed with time. Better to allow the experts to educate, than to muddle along without that spark.

That said, if you encounter diplomats from other groups, you're expected to conduct yourself as you would around an Aranean...which, unfortunately, includes the Regency.


GROOMING

Araneans are obsessed with appearance, grooming, and presentation, if the etiquette wasn't enough, so it's time for COST to take a ~spa day~. At least here you won't get lice.

Another series of repurposed droids are now your hairdressers, manicurists, and personal groomers. It's nothing truly dramatic and mostly intended to get everyone up to standard, with optional courses in makeup and hair-styling for full banquets and other occasions. Hair can be styled to taste, as long as it's neat and isn't too labor intensive; recruits are expected to maintain it and the rest of their appearance afterwards.

From here on out, no one comes to breakfast or dinner without a shower, their hair done, or nails cleaned. Presenting yourself as a mess is disrespectful and will be similarly as punished.

Also, COST is far too broke to get you actual maidservants, so it's important to remember what is realistic for a single person to accomplish.


LANGUAGE

When conversing with humans, Araneans will speak in a language the BCE can translate, but names will remain as they are. Aranean custom doesn't attribute meanings to names, since so many children are born in a single clutch of eggs. But it's impossible for humans to make the sounds necessary for their language, so Araneans will tolerate screw-ups—to an extent.

There are recordings of Aranean names, pronounced by an Aranean speaker (it sounds like a series of hisses and clicks) and then the nearest approximation by a human, which is middling at best and involves a pale imitations of those sounds.

Here are some examples of what human-spoken Aranean sounds like, to give you a vague idea: Jhashch, Thsh, Chch, Shai, Aythy, Shch.

Also, you should always use a spider's title. Whether a noble lady or lord to the High Queen herself, failing to use a title is a sign of wanton disrespect...or a challenge. Either option is inadvisable when COST is trying to garner respect and curry favor with the royal court.


COMBAT

For general combat training, the gym and armory are open and available. A large mechanical spider sits in the former; Chiron has activated it for the recruits' use. Roughly the size of a male Aranean, its armor is reminiscent of Aranean plate and possesses similar weak points. The most striking of these is the abdomen and their comparatively fragile joints. The robot is unintelligent, but moves as an Aranean does, with agile leaps and viciously quick strikes.

It also fires lasers, which is less than accurate, but pay that no mind.

» DUELING

The rapiers recruits receive serve a purpose. It's time to learn renaissance-style fencing, as they are the standard dueling weapon for the Aranean people. Unlike the stamina building exercises of Gallipoli, everyone will train for agility and precision. This will cover everything from sprints, lunges, when and how to strike human and Aranean opponents, and—most useful of all—how to maintain your balance. Training lasts for three hours every morning after breakfast. It's heavy on leg and shoulder work.

It becomes very apparent why some people spend their whole lives devoted to the sword: This isn't a skill you pick up overnight. Characters who know a different style of swordwork will be better off than those who have never trained before. A poor man's weapon this is not.

Then there are the duelist courtesies and rules:

• To issue a challenge: strike your opponent lightly with an open palm across the cheek.
• To accept the duel: strike your challenger back in a similar fashion.
• To refuse the duel: bow and step backwards.

When a duel begins, the duelists will meet at an agreed time and place. After meeting in the center of the room, they will hold their weapons up with two hands, so their opponent can see no one has tampered with the weapons; after the inspection, they take three steps back while still facing each other, before turning back to their starting position.

Matches last until the first serious injury, rather than first blood. The ideal is to in some way incapacitate your opponent. The droids will be the judge of that in training; they'll shower you in glitter should you lose and cheerfully intone, "You have been grievously wounded."

At the end of a duel, both sides will bow (if able) and then be led—or carried—off the floor, holding their weapons in front of them.

» RITE OF SUCCESSION

There's also the bare-handed brawl, which is the peak of Aranean dueling. However, bare-handed brawls are matches to the death and an absolute way to settle a dispute without killing a whole family. As such, it's the usual method of succession amongst family members.

» GAMING

There are lectures on video games as fine art, famous Aranean gamers and game designers, and pioneers of different genres. But besides thorough education on common terminology, game training mostly consists of, well, playing video games. There is an entire room dedicated to the art, with multiple screens connected to consoles of all types.

The ultimate goal, in the briefest of terms, is to learn not to suck.

For veteran gamers, practice is encouraged and experience with genres you ignore in favor of your favorite titles is all but demanded. Spiders have it all, from shooters to rhythm games to role-playing to virtual reality. As long as it's got that extra bit of violent spice and has a clear winner or loser, it's all good.

So don't be a scrub and play the damn games.


FIRST AID

First aid features a crash course in toxins popular in the High Court. These are primarily neurotoxins; the most popular variety is imported from the people of the Fafnirian System and known as Drip Venom. It is almost always fatal to Araneans, but requires a higher dosage to meet the same effectiveness on humans; if you find yourself poisoned by it, you may very well survive if you administer an antidote quickly enough.

Necrotoxins are primarily used when the goal isn't to kill, but to maim. They're intended to destroy the receiver's beauty and social standing.

Characters will learn how to use the antitoxin injectors in their inventory by practicing with an empty shell and simulating injections in their thighs. The nanites contained within the injectors are powerful and will neutralize most varieties of toxins. They will at least help counter male spider bites (females can inject much higher quantities of venom, which may make a single injector relatively useless) and extremely mild Ymir poisoning.


HIERARCHY

All recruits have their place in the Aranean hierarchy and will learn to weaponize it to the best of their ability. However, since COST is lacking in Aranean senses, this training relies on the identity recruits claim for themselves (though, if needed, you can assume Grothia told them to train in a specific category; she won't have anyone jeopardize the mission).

It is also stressed that there is no guarantee that anything you do or say on Jhashch goes unobserved, whether by Araneans, their servants, or their spies. To an Aranean, everything is about power and displays of power. To be complacent is to be weak and, consequently, prey.

Using the Araneans as a guide, now might be a good time to adopt a false hierarchy you can fall into when "alone" with other COST members. In this framework, female characters of artificial origins rank at the top and male characters of magical origins sit at the bottom, but there are likely more than a few gray areas for members of COST.

But better safe than sorry. In the High Court, there is no such thing as being too paranoid, because these are apex predators who always hunt the weakest first.

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

NAV. NETWORK LOGS OOC MEMES PLURK

Comments

[thunders]

Follow me. Attack. [ Thor backs up, as if he's trying to move out of John's range. He's only defending at the moment, letting John get more accustomed to the foot work.

Thor is absolutely not taking this 76 business seriously. He knows what an alias is. ] Do you really expect me to believe that? You could have said any name, and I would have had no choice but to accept it - why 76?

[mylawn]

[76 adjusts the grip on his sword, trying to coordinate his feet with the movement of the blade. It's a little bit of work, to stop thinking like it's a knife, or that he's not going to end this with some kind of melee strike with his fists. He tries to think of the long rapier as an extension of his arm, taking note of the flexible way it whips around when he steps forward and thrusts.]

It's what I want to be called. It's my name.

[He might be punctuating that just a little bit with his sword.]

[thunders]

Better. The tip of the blade is the most dangerous part. Even when you vary your attack, try to keep it between yourself and your opponent.

[ John is a quick study, and it's clear that the issue isn't his ability to learn - just older training getting in the way. Breaking habits that are ingrained for survival isn't an easy task.

Thor waits until he's gotten the hang of things, then begins to press his own attack. Much like the earlier swordplay, he's trying to give John a feel for the movement. ]

Do you take constructive criticism on your name choices?

[mylawn]

I don't take constructive criticism at all.

[That's obviously a lie, given that he's adjusting his stance to Thor's instruction just fine, but it's clear this particular argument is wearing on him. He gets the feeling that neither of them are going to back down, so the most he can do is be as much of a pain about it as possible.

It only takes a few lunges for him to realize that Thor is going on the defensive, so he tries to keep the note in mind as he deflects the blade.]

Especially not constructive criticism about my name.

[thunders]

Yes, I can tell. [ He nods when John makes the adjustments, then increases his speed. They don't need to make things too complicated - it's unlikely that they'll be much of a match for those who have years of experience and the advantage of their own arena - but at the least they should be able to hold their own.

Thor is no stranger to arguments in which both parties are too stubborn to yield, but he's long since figured out the trick to avoiding an impasse and having a good time while doing it. ]

I'll make a deal with you. A sparring match - no weapons. If you win, I'll call you whatever number you like. But if you yield, you get accustomed to 'Johnathan.'

[mylawn]

76 regards this with no small amount of skepticism. He thinks back to meeting Thor at Gallipoli, wondering if he betrayed any of his unnatural strength to him, or if he still has that ace up his sleeve. If Thor hasn't caught on, then for all he knows he's proposing a sparring match to a man who's decidedly past his prime. 76 is more than ready to use that to his advantage.

Cards on the table or not, he's not going to back down from a challenge.]

Sure.

[But he is going to change the condition first.]

If you win you can use John. I already told you it wasn't short for anything.

[thunders]

[ Thor looks as guileless as a man who just challenged a senior citizen to a fistfight can look. He has no real idea of what John is capable of - for all he knows, the man could shoot laser beams out of his eyes. He doesn't particularly mind finding out in the middle of combat. At the very least, John isn't unskilled - it ought to be interesting. ]

I'll try to remember, when I win.

[ He makes an attempt to disarm John with a hard strike of his sword. ]

[mylawn]

[76 is pretty sure he should just resign himself to hell, but he's also committed, which means that this is going to happen one way or another. He's ready to go, but realizes he's still holding a sword in a no-weapons spar when Thor lunges out to disarm him. He hops back with reflexes befitting a man half his age, and lets the blade clatter to the ground.

With that taken care of, he squares up for real, evenly distributing his weight and raising his fists.]

If you win.

[He's not so foolish as to lash out right away, so instead he goes on the defensive, taking a half-circle around Thor as if to size him up.]

[thunders]

[ Thor tosses his own blade aside with a decisive clatter. It doesn't escape his notice that John moves faster than a human his age ought to be able to but, more than that that, the fact that he's ready to fight someone larger and arguably more skilled at the drop of a hat reminds Thor of someone he knows.

Thor settles into a comfortable fighting stance and moves in counterpoint. ]

I'll graciously accept your surrender in advance, so whenever you're ready to call this off - go right ahead.

[ Thor doesn't hesitate - he lunges first, intending to leverage his weight and momentum to grapple John to the floor.

At the moment, he's under the assumption that John is human, so with that in mind he'll be pulling his punches to keep from causing him any serious harm. It's only a sparring match, after all, and he has plenty of practice with that. ]

[mylawn]

[If he hadn't figured it out in Gallipoli, it's clear Thor has a flair for the dramatic. 76, by comparison, is all about efficiency, everything fine-tuned with no wasted movement.]

I don't surrender.

[But possibly Thor knows that about him already--it's not like he's very subtle. 76 would be flattened with Thor's full strength, but since he's holding back, he's able to dig his heels in and hold his ground.

Unfortunately, that's about all he's able to do, and his face screws up in concentration accordingly.]

[thunders]

[ Thor grins. ] I hoped you would say that.

[ Thor's flair for the dramatic comes from a few places - his upbringing, his ego, his natural inclination towards it - but most of all, it comes from the sheer enjoyment of a good fight. He is a god of thunder; whether it be the thunder of battle or the thunder of a storm, it sings in his blood.

John is as skilled as he had expected and then some. He manages to get a few good shots in, with the same kind of methodical calculation that Steve had always used to get past Thor's guard - which is perhaps unsurprisingly lax, considering that very little can cause him harm.

Thor's style is heavier, more reckless and brutal than John's, even peppered as it is when with the quick flashes of his grin and teasing remarks.

It was never a fair fight to begin with, but by the end of it Thor has tasted his own blood in his mouth, and John has yet another measure of his respect. It just happens that even with that measure of respect, John ends up face down on the ground with Thor's knee digging into his back and both of his hands pinned behind him in Thor's stronger grip. ]

Yield.

[mylawn]

[To his credit, he puts up a good fight, but even with Thor's reckless style, but there's only so much he can do, despite getting in a few good hits. Thor seems to be enjoying himself, at any rate, even as 76 takes more punishment than he really should, given the fact that he's not as young as he used to be.

That's how he ends up pinned to the ground, a knee between his shoulder blades. Still, he was serious about never surrendering, and 76 thrashes beneath Thor's weight, snarling like an animal, like that's going to accomplish something.]

[thunders]

[ Thor's weight is considerable, even for a man his size. He doesn't budge - and with the advantage of having John pinned, he doesn't struggle to keep him there either. ]

Use your words, Johnathan.

[mylawn]

[76's name is not Johnathan and he responds to being addressed as such with another snarl. He gives the impression that he might try to bite anything that gets anywhere near his mouth, at this point.]

[thunders]

Suit yourself.

[ Thor holds out his hand. It's lucky that's he's brought his hammer to training, though it's been sitting quietly in the corner of the room. It flies directly to him, and he moves his knee enough to replace it with the weight of his hammer. It is, technically speaking, lighter than Thor - but quite immovable.

Thor moves over so he can crouch beside Jack's head.] So listen - you can just take your time, admit defeat when you're ready. I'm going to grab a snack. Do you want anything? Protein bar? Ice-cream?

[mylawn]

[76 is not quite on the up-and-up when it comes to Norse mythology, but he understands Thor as a concept. God of Thunder. Had a hammer, maybe? Yeah, there’s the hammer. His eyes widen a little as he watches the weapon cross the room of its own accord, finding Thor’s hand, and then it’s planted squarely between his shoulder blades.

Ostensibly, it should be fairly easy to throw it off (it is, after all, just a hammer), but he finds it impossible to move underneath it. Instead of taking a moment to think about why that might be the case, he reacts fairly poorly to the realization that he is now well and fully trapped.

This time, he does seem to find some words.]

Get this thing off me--

[thunders]

[ Not even a single expletive. Thor is, once again, slightly impressed.

He pushes himself to his feet. If it were another Asgardian or one of the Avengers, he might actually make good on his threat, but there's not really any sport in bullying a mortal, even one that he suspects isn't just a regular human.

The hammer returns to his left hand, and the right he holds out for John - to help him up. ]

[mylawn]

[76 is rated T for Teen, Thor.

As soon as the weight of the hammer is off him, he's dragging himself to his feet, albeit with more effort than he'd like to show. The fight is starting to catch up to him as the adrenaline immediately starts to ebb, and though he doesn't take Thor's hand as a point of pride, it's clear he's a little rattled from the beating he took.

He will not, however, formally concede defeat, instead offering little more than a grunt as he straightens.]

[thunders]

[ Let John say fuck. ]

I'll see you later. [ Thor claps him on the back instead, unconcerned. ] You should consider that ice-cream. Or at least, you know, ice.

[mylawn]

[The back-clap is about the last thing he needs right now, as Thor's strength very nearly bowls him over in his current state. Ice sounds great, but like hell is he going to admit how thoroughly he's had his ass handed to him.

If Thor was expecting some kind of farewell, he doesn't get it. The most he can muster at the moment is a sort of half-affirmative grunt.]