agogelogs | WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR

WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR—

WHO? Everybody!
WHAT? BASE training, between investigating the fish.
WHEN? Still outside time and space, in the aether between dimensions.
ANYTHING ELSE? Please warn for anything besides physical violence and move to a personal journal if it's beyond PG-13.

I want to wring out your evil thoughts;

I want to eat out your bitter heart

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

OVERVIEW

A couple weeks into exploration, recruits receive a bulletin on their BCEs.

@SCOUT | @ALL

report to the foyer at 0600 hours tomorrow for a briefing; it'll be a couple weeks yet, but you're headed to jhashch, circa 382.92

you'll receive a datapack that goes over the location in detail, but we're still acquiring location-appropriate clothing. you'll receive your equipment in full before departure. until then, you've more than a little training to accomplish.

the commander will lay out your regime tomorrow. don't make her wait.

Anyone who arrives early will catch the end of an argument between Grothia, Chiron, and Young. Or, more accurately, Grothia and Young.

If you listen carefully to Grothia's raised voice and Young's collective jeer over Chiron's calm, placating tones, you'll learn Grothia and Young are required to attend this summit, in a show of good faith. And it's a matter Grothia has only addressed with your scout now. She storms from the room in a flurry of white feathers and the crows sulk for the rest of the day.

Needless to say, she is furious. She is not a fan of spiders.

THE MAIN FOYER

The foyer has been overhauled. The walls are dark and impersonal; while not terribly different from their usual steel, they're slick and clean in a way BASE is not, so polished you can see your distorted reflection. And this sterile surface is only a backdrop to architecture reminiscent of the height of the Baroque period: decadent, dark, and sometimes pointlessly opulent.

Many of the rooms are only gently lit, leaving long shadows, and sometimes you might spot movement out of the corner of your eye. It's dark and cool, almost like a cellar, but by no means even a fraction as musty. It's as well ventilated as BASE can ever be. And, while some rooms simply acclimate you to your upcoming surroundings, others serve clear purpose.

Much of the furniture is odd in shape, casting swooping silhouettes and made for creatures much larger and rounder than humans. But what is meant for human use is just as opulent, decked in rich fabrics and carved wood.

A few rooms along the foyer's rim are bright, with large "windows" (high definition screens, much like the ones in your rooms) that display the rusty landscape of Jhashch. It's possible to see various lifeforms wandering the jagged terrain, hyper realistic, though the images will loop if you watch long enough. Sometimes, you might even spot an undisguised Aranean.

Welcome to your training grounds.

TRAINING

All recruits must train extensively in each of the following categories. This is emphasized and revisited again and again, until it is drilled into memory. But this time, it isn't like the shooting and running of the Great War. This is a little more...refined.

However, it's not as easy to tell when you've messed up, so COST has repurposed some Dactly droids. Each recruit will have one droid assigned to follow them; when a mistake is made, it will hurl a glitter bomb at the person and cheerfully inform them, "You have been consumed." 🎊 The glitter is just as difficult to remove as you'd expect.

ETIQUETTE

Etiquette is split into several key elements. Recruits are repeatedly reminded: if your etiquette is poor enough, an Aranean may eat you, diplomacy and goodwill be damned. They take poor form deadly serious.

» POSTURE

Araneans see power in perfect posture, whether sitting or standing. You are always expected to be at your tallest and most intimidating, with shoulders straight back and hands placed in your lap or on your glass or cutlery. It's poor form to turn your face down or away when someone is talking to you; Araneans favor eye contact. It is advised to look at the largest, middle two eyes of an Aranean.

» CONVERSATION

Be interesting; this is no place for wallflowers. Speak with authority on topics you know or, at least, can fake. What matters is confidence, aggression, and dominating the conversation. Recruits will compile three topics that they can speak of confidently at length.

» ENTERTAINMENT

Characters should choose a skill to hone into something presentable in the Court. This can be anything, whether art, music, shooting, sword fighting, etc. Something they can show off and demonstrate, that they're sure they'll dominate in. And note: While dominance and cruelty are powerful in their own right, there's something to be said for anyone who can distract and charm another to their doom.

However, don't go in swinging your hardest. Always keep an ace up your sleeve, just in case.

» DANCE

Like most warrior cultures of the past, Araneans are obsessed with dancing as much as appearance. Their whole purpose is an intricate display of steps and motions and memorization of positions. For people with fewer than eight legs, it is mercifully a little easier.

A little. You still have to learn at least three common dances to satisfy your Dactyl droid.

» DINING

Meals are taken very seriously by Araneans, with a set order and customs that are observed almost obsessively.

SKULGA: All meals start with a glass of alcoholic drink, chosen carefully by the hosting family. This is to ensure no drink or glass has been poisoned. As such, all meals begin with every guest skulling a glass.

CURATH-MIR: The first person to eat is always highest in rank. To eat at the same time is to challenge them and attempt to take their place...or that of the food on their plate.

LAMBRAT: A napkin of sorts, but one you bring to match your outfit. It is tied to the left wrist and used during the meal like a typical napkin. They are usually of very expensive and boldly colored material, which you can use to motion servants without looking at them. You don't want to break eye contact with your conversation partner.

COLPATHA: A dish that is the first course of every banquet. It is raw meat of a choice cut and presented in a bowl over open flame on hot coals, with appropriate utensils. You have to cook the meat yourself. It is also expected to be something of a spectacle, by doing tricks with how you cook.

CUTLERY: There are no forks here; only a series of intricate, specially curved knives. And no, you can't use your hands.

» BOWING

Spiders are prone to display. For an Aranean, bowing involves extending all limbs of their upper body and bending at the main knee of their legs, all whilst keeping the upper body stiff and face forward; after all, eye contact is still key. It's somewhat reminiscent of this little spider, though with the raised limbs spread wider, like a ballerina.

For humans, it's more difficult to execute; we have fewer limbs, after all. Instead, both men and women step forward, extend the dominant leg back, lift both arms and bend at the knees. It is, quite possibly, the most precarious balancing act you've done in a while. For men, only one arm is lifted and the other tucked behind the back. For women, well...

» DIPLOMACY

Recruits are encouraged to help each other grasp the art of backstabbing; COST understands it is a nebulous art and carefully honed with time. Better to allow the experts to educate, than to muddle along without that spark.

That said, if you encounter diplomats from other groups, you're expected to conduct yourself as you would around an Aranean...which, unfortunately, includes the Regency.

GROOMING

Araneans are obsessed with appearance, grooming, and presentation, if the etiquette wasn't enough, so it's time for COST to take a ~spa day~. At least here you won't get lice.

Another series of repurposed droids are now your hairdressers, manicurists, and personal groomers. It's nothing truly dramatic and mostly intended to get everyone up to standard, with optional courses in makeup and hair-styling for full banquets and other occasions. Hair can be styled to taste, as long as it's neat and isn't too labor intensive; recruits are expected to maintain it and the rest of their appearance afterwards.

From here on out, no one comes to breakfast or dinner without a shower, their hair done, or nails cleaned. Presenting yourself as a mess is disrespectful and will be similarly as punished.

Also, COST is far too broke to get you actual maidservants, so it's important to remember what is realistic for a single person to accomplish.

LANGUAGE

When conversing with humans, Araneans will speak in a language the BCE can translate, but names will remain as they are. Aranean custom doesn't attribute meanings to names, since so many children are born in a single clutch of eggs. But it's impossible for humans to make the sounds necessary for their language, so Araneans will tolerate screw-ups—to an extent.

There are recordings of Aranean names, pronounced by an Aranean speaker (it sounds like a series of hisses and clicks) and then the nearest approximation by a human, which is middling at best and involves a pale imitations of those sounds.

Here are some examples of what human-spoken Aranean sounds like, to give you a vague idea: Jhashch, Thsh, Chch, Shai, Aythy, Shch.

Also, you should always use a spider's title. Whether a noble lady or lord to the High Queen herself, failing to use a title is a sign of wanton disrespect...or a challenge. Either option is inadvisable when COST is trying to garner respect and curry favor with the royal court.

COMBAT

For general combat training, the gym and armory are open and available. A large mechanical spider sits in the former; Chiron has activated it for the recruits' use. Roughly the size of a male Aranean, its armor is reminiscent of Aranean plate and possesses similar weak points. The most striking of these is the abdomen and their comparatively fragile joints. The robot is unintelligent, but moves as an Aranean does, with agile leaps and viciously quick strikes.

It also fires lasers, which is less than accurate, but pay that no mind.

» DUELING

The rapiers recruits receive serve a purpose. It's time to learn renaissance-style fencing, as they are the standard dueling weapon for the Aranean people. Unlike the stamina building exercises of Gallipoli, everyone will train for agility and precision. This will cover everything from sprints, lunges, when and how to strike human and Aranean opponents, and—most useful of all—how to maintain your balance. Training lasts for three hours every morning after breakfast. It's heavy on leg and shoulder work.

It becomes very apparent why some people spend their whole lives devoted to the sword: This isn't a skill you pick up overnight. Characters who know a different style of swordwork will be better off than those who have never trained before. A poor man's weapon this is not.

Then there are the duelist courtesies and rules:

To issue a challenge: strike your opponent lightly with an open palm across the cheek.
To accept the duel: strike your challenger back in a similar fashion.
To refuse the duel: bow and step backwards.

When a duel begins, the duelists will meet at an agreed time and place. After meeting in the center of the room, they will hold their weapons up with two hands, so their opponent can see no one has tampered with the weapons; after the inspection, they take three steps back while still facing each other, before turning back to their starting position.

Matches last until the first serious injury, rather than first blood. The ideal is to in some way incapacitate your opponent. The droids will be the judge of that in training; they'll shower you in glitter should you lose and cheerfully intone, "You have been grievously wounded."

At the end of a duel, both sides will bow (if able) and then be led—or carried—off the floor, holding their weapons in front of them.

» RITE OF SUCCESSION

There's also the bare-handed brawl, which is the peak of Aranean dueling. However, bare-handed brawls are matches to the death and an absolute way to settle a dispute without killing a whole family. As such, it's the usual method of succession amongst family members.

» GAMING

There are lectures on video games as fine art, famous Aranean gamers and game designers, and pioneers of different genres. But besides thorough education on common terminology, game training mostly consists of, well, playing video games. There is an entire room dedicated to the art, with multiple screens connected to consoles of all types.

The ultimate goal, in the briefest of terms, is to learn not to suck.

For veteran gamers, practice is encouraged and experience with genres you ignore in favor of your favorite titles is all but demanded. Spiders have it all, from shooters to rhythm games to role-playing to virtual reality. As long as it's got that extra bit of violent spice and has a clear winner or loser, it's all good.

So don't be a scrub and play the damn games.

FIRST AID

First aid features a crash course in toxins popular in the High Court. These are primarily neurotoxins; the most popular variety is imported from the people of the Fafnirian System and known as Drip Venom. It is almost always fatal to Araneans, but requires a higher dosage to meet the same effectiveness on humans; if you find yourself poisoned by it, you may very well survive if you administer an antidote quickly enough.

Necrotoxins are primarily used when the goal isn't to kill, but to maim. They're intended to destroy the receiver's beauty and social standing.

Characters will learn how to use the antitoxin injectors in their inventory by practicing with an empty shell and simulating injections in their thighs. The nanites contained within the injectors are powerful and will neutralize most varieties of toxins. They will at least help counter male spider bites (females can inject much higher quantities of venom, which may make a single injector relatively useless) and extremely mild Ymir poisoning.

HIERARCHY

All recruits have their place in the Aranean hierarchy and will learn to weaponize it to the best of their ability. However, since COST is lacking in Aranean senses, this training relies on the identity recruits claim for themselves (though, if needed, you can assume Grothia told them to train in a specific category; she won't have anyone jeopardize the mission).

It is also stressed that there is no guarantee that anything you do or say on Jhashch goes unobserved, whether by Araneans, their servants, or their spies. To an Aranean, everything is about power and displays of power. To be complacent is to be weak and, consequently, prey.

Using the Araneans as a guide, now might be a good time to adopt a false hierarchy you can fall into when "alone" with other COST members. In this framework, female characters of artificial origins rank at the top and male characters of magical origins sit at the bottom, but there are likely more than a few gray areas for members of COST.

But better safe than sorry. In the High Court, there is no such thing as being too paranoid, because these are apex predators who always hunt the weakest first.

READ THE JHASHCH INFOPAGE.

NAV. NETWORK LOGS OOC MEMES PLURK

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i CONVERSATION

[ Minatsuki is a new face around here, so if this is the first time you're meeting her, you might find her to be quite a charming young lady when you strike up a faux-court conversation. she's polite and articulate; she smiles, bows, and laughs in all the right places. it doesn't seem like an act, either, because she isn't stiff, never hesitates or stumbles — maybe she's just exceptionally lucky and this is her natural element.

and then her pleasant expression vanishes mid-conversation and she groans. ]

Fuck me, this is so boring... [ her droid fires a shower of glitter at her for breaking character and she immediately shrieks at it: ] OI!

ii ENTERTAINMENT

[ something she's good at, huh... lying and fighting are about the only things she's needed in her arsenal since she ended up in Wonderland. even before that, Minatsuki the regular middle school student wasn't anything special. she can fake the etiquette all she needs to, but when it comes to this, she feels kind of — hollow. like she's suddenly realising how many things make up a "normal" person that she's lacking.

so she's talking it out with her reliable consultant: an armadillo that she's holding up in both hands so she can see him face-to-face. ]

Y'know, you're the one that does circus tricks here. [ he squeaks at her: kyuu! ] But you're such a dumbass you'd get eaten in a second if I took you with me...

[ the droid is waiting for her, and she looks at it with a scowl. ]

I'm thinking. If you shoot me with that fucking glitter, you're gonna be the first tin can to feel regret.

iii DANCING

[ this is ridiculous. she's not clumsy, not by any means, and she's always prided herself on being the most agile of her fellow Deadmen, but dancing is just fucking stupid. playing a part is one thing; she can't remember all these steps and positions, the precise posture, and she hates dancing with someone else, hates being touched, keeps flinching away every time someone tries to put a hand anywhere on her—

YOU HAVE BEEN CONSUMED!

the glitter hits Minatsuki in the back of the head and she rips herself away from her partner with a snarl. ]

—Aaaaah, that's it! I'm sick of this bullshit! Come here, you piece of shit, I'm gonna—

[ she lunges at the droid and slams it up against a wall. the poor thing just keeps shooting glitterbombs in her face helplessly and chiming YOU HAVE BEEN CONSUMED! YOU HAVE BEEN CONSUMED! which is doing nothing to soothe her anger. ]

iv GROOMING

[ after all of that, she seems the most peaceful having her hair done in the afternoon before dinner. she sits there painting her freshly-manicured nails in pink while a droid does her braids for her, and the armadillo she's been carrying around is on his back in her lap, squeaking at her and kicking his stubby little legs. ]

I can't pet you, dipshit, my nails are wet. You want me to paint you too? [ she holds the brush up threateningly, and then winces when the droid pulls her hair a little. ] Watch it! Ugh, this would have been better before Doc took my hair.

v WILDCARD

[ obligatory option!! there's nothing for combat here but she's more than happy to fight if you want to practise with her. if you want something in particular, feel free to hmu @ dragonstrike ]

Use your wrist. [ the suggestion rises from her left. if she turns her head to look, she'll see a young man who is entirely too immaculate to be in here to begin with, idly crossing one leg over the other as he watches the armadillo's squirming. if she's quick enough, she'll catch a temporary softness lingering at the corners of his features, made up in ways that emphasize the blue of his eyes and the subtle downturn of his lips. the droids don't seem too interested in him, beyond the one that gently files down one of his nails — the rest kept too well to be bothered with. if there's a reason why he's in here, it isn't a stretch to say it is because it is — was — quiet.

as he continues, he doesn't glance up to her face. at least, not for long. it's only just long enough to relay: ] And don't pull back, there's enough glitter in here already.

[ it isn't precisely meant to be helpful, but ryo's seen this happen plenty. he's sick of the usual fits people have following the inevitable shower of it and he's sick of it being stirred up by others recruits coming and going to rest against his hair, his skin. it at least seems to... suit him. somehow. go figure. ]

Oh. That's not a bad idea.

[ it hadn't been her first thought, since he usually wants her to scratch him. but she rubs Kincho's belly in circles with the heel of her palm, and he seems happy with that, wriggling around in her lap. unlike Ryo, there's no softness to Minatsuki's face — but her voice is calm, casual, speaking to Kincho like he can understand what she's saying: ] Yeah, yeah. You're so whiny.

[ she can't turn her head while the droid is braiding, so she can really only see the guy on the very edge of her vision, too hazy to gauge his expression. he sounds kind of curt, which doesn't bother her; kindness has never been a prerequisite for conversation before, and she can't imagine that changing for her here. although, if he thinks she doesn't know how to play the stupid game they all have to learn right now— ]

I'm not an idiot. [ it's not snappish. this guy doesn't know her, and plenty of people are idiots, so it's fine. ] I know how to fake it so that these stupid things are happy with me. I'm just getting tired of it right now.

[ what was the point of everything she went through, all of her resolve and the decisions she made, if she's being put back into situations where she has to lie? it doesn't feel much like doing good. Ganta never pretended to be anyone else, and he wouldn't have gone back into the arena for (almost) anything — but here she is, planning out another mask to wear, steeling herself to be Hummingbird again just to curry favour with people who are everything she thought she was going to stop being.

seems an awful lot like being one of the bad guys again. ]

It's experience. [ Once, Ryo had had pets of his own. John had followed at his heels since he was a boy, though the canary had been new. Even still, he remembers it sang sweet out in the garden and brightened something in him no matter how low his mood. He doesn't ruminate upon it. Instead, he watches the armadillo respond with a delight so typical of most animals who had attention lavished upon them.

John use to rest his head on his knees. He clears his throat. ]

That's something new, [ he says, lifting his hand from the droid as it finishes attending to him. He attends to his posture even though the temptation to lean forward to rest elbow on his knee is almost insurmountable. He makes an idle gesture to the glitter about them. There's a lot. But, it seems like this is definitely gnawing at him a bit too. ] Provided that's true, you'd be the first one I've seen not eventually "consumed."

Whoa—

[Prompto has no idea how to deescalate the situation, especially when the droid is too stupid to help. Which is why he awkwardly ends up hovering next to Minatsuki choking out the poor stupid thing, hands raised up placatingly.]

Yeah, we can, uh, try something else! Sorry, I know I'm really bad at dancing— [He may have just been glitter bombed himself for not being assertive enough.]

[ as always, her temper gives her tunnel-vision, so for a second Prompto completely slips her mind; a few months out of Wonderland isn't enough to take the Deadman habits from her, and one of those is not really expecting anyone to even spare her a glance when she gets violent. when Prompto draws attention to himself by trying to talk her down, in a brief moment, her anger just shifts onto him. ]

You— [ she was going to snap at him to shut up, but he gets hit with the glitter and it bursts on the back of his head and she just blinks at him. like a gear got knocked loose, her anger grinds to a halt, and instead she points a finger in his direction. pauses. tries to find her train of thought again: ] —... shut up.

[ well. she's over it, now. she shoves away from the droid and runs a hand through her hair, looking a little embarrassed by her outburst. ]

It's nothing to do with you, I'm just sick of these fuckin' things.

[Prompto's expression is straight up comical, morphing from a split second of oh shit at the initial burst of anger to annoyance when he gets glitterballed. His attention swings between Minatsuki and his droid, mostly concerned for the former and completely offended by the latter.]

Yeah, I feel you. They're not this bad most of the time; usually they just hang out and help with food prep.

[He eyes his droid accusingly as he makes a futile effort to dust off the back of his head, before turning his attention completely to Minatsuki.]

But I wasn't kidding—doing something else might help?

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WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOR—

minatsuki takami ( ota )

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dancing;

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