agogelogs | [closed]...And the spiders from Mars

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[closed]...And the spiders from Mars

WHO? Chiron and Siegfried
WHAT? Pretty much every intense conversation they've been meaning to have for the past month plus
WHEN? Immediately after bragging party at House Khah
ANYTHING ELSE?

Returning to COST's current residences after an extremely long (far too long) evening at the Khah house wasn't as relieving as it ought to have been for Chiron. There were still prying ears and keen eyes making notes about COST agents, and that meant that there was no true opportunity for rest. No way to know that the front that this place required could be shrugged off and replaced with something more casual, something that could at least let out some of the demands of being constantly on one's toes.

If he thought critically, reflecting on his own words and what he both heard and saw from others, the entire thing had at least been successful from a mission perspective. Those were not laurels to rest on, but they were little indicators that things were on course for the time being.

Still. There had been a few things that Chiron noticed that struck him as out of place - not with any members of the Khah themselves, but in his fellow operatives. Namely Siegfried.

Chiron hadn't overheard much, but he had noticed that Siegfried's demeanor was different. It wasn't just the projected aggression required for the event, there was a deeper change, something that had him worried.

It was for that reason that he lingered in the courtyard of the residences, awaiting his friend's return. Chiron was sure that he hadn't gotten there after Siegfried.

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"You are not. I didn't see you leave, and wanted to ensure you made it back safely."

Chiron can guess at the underlying question, and it's why he gives the answer he does. There is more to it of course, so, so much more, but he cannot speak of it so openly. Too many risks, not enough ways to mitigate them out here in the open.

He doesn't dare suggest heading back to either of their rooms out loud, but his eyes track towards the general area to suggest that if Siegfried thinks it's a wise idea to retire and speak more openly, Chiron would be amenable. In his own eyes, there is a flicker of exhaustion, but nothing more than that. To let anything else would demonstrate weakness.

Edited 2018-05-02 00:09 (UTC)

Chiron receives a huff for the statement, but it's a good start for him to understand. Siegfried follows his eyes briefly, already deciphering what he's asking. A part of him almost speaks openly, but he chomps the desire back and stomps it into the floor, lets his shoulders stand straight and avoids thinking about it. He knows what would happen if he were that careless here.

More than anything else right now, Siegfried wishes he could just honestly talk to his friend, but that would put them both in incredible danger.

"My apologies for worrying you." It's a neutral response, but Chiron shouldn't miss the way his head nods ever so slightly as a response, Siegfried masking it by closing his eyes and exhaling, before opening them once more. Yes. Let the both of them get out of view and be able to really discuss what's on their minds without having to worry about their own lives at the same time. "I'd left with a few other recruits, more than likely after you had." He'd left after being sought after by the females became too much, after the members of Khah began to prize him like some bait to undo the royal throne. He wants none of this.

He despises this. The whole game of lying, of backstabbing, of supposed politics. Being thankful won't even begin to describe how he'll feel upon leaving Jhashch for good.

Chiron can read the ascent in the tiny nod, and he begins a very leisurely walk towards where the bedrooms are. He's done his level best to ensure that his has been as proofed against spying as possible (the power of not sleeping, truly), and he has every intention of ensuring that the doors are locked before opening his mouth to say anything that is more than simple politeness.

"Well, I've no reason to fuss now, and that's truly all that is important to me." There's honesty in that statement too. Chiron's never expressed his own appreciation of simply having Siegfried around, but truly, he has never felt he needed to. It is a common knowledge, frequently traded upon between the two of them. It doesn't need to be said.

"I'm sure that others will stay much later into the evening, but they're better equipped for it."

Chiron had also experienced the flirting, and finding the best way to deflect that had not been enjoyable. There had been a lot of remaining close to his Master as one way forward, and a struggle to not mention the fact that he did have an immediate family. With the Regency around, that was unacceptable.

For Siegfried, they had wanted his stories of rampage and destruction- of his days at war, in which he destroyed armies singlehandedly in a day's time. He had done it for the protection of his kingdom, of his people; but they only viewed it as sport. When he'd learned of this, he was incredibly grateful he hadn't mentioned anything in regards to Fafnir. It was not enough for them to hear that he had eradicated his enemies by himself; they had wanted the details of how he'd made sure they knew he was the one who'd killed their people. It had pushed him into an aggressive mindset in order to keep them at bay, and it was one that deep down, had terrified him. Every word was like a blade hurled back at the Araneans, spiteful and irritated... and as they had grinned, pleased with his stories, his stomach had twisted at how horrific he had sounded.

It hadn't surprised him when he had wanted to push back, but this kind of aggression? He's never seen this kind before- where he more than willingly bites back at someone to keep them away from him rather than let them close.

Wordlessly, he follows after Chiron, only offering a hum as a reply at first. It's true- other recruits would handle the party far better than they. Siegfried was a knight rather than a prince, though that title also belonged to him. He and his heart belonged to the ways of protecting others through his sword, not through words and promises; to the open sky and the fields it touched, not the darkness of a throne room separated from the outside world. Danaerys has given him insight for the court and what it offers, but it will take time for him to fully see it to its true potential.

"They're certainly more lively about it." Whether he's joking or not, he's not even sure. It's hard to tell sometimes if the words he speaks here are meant one way or another, having to make sure every single thing he does ensures his survival to the next day. He's so tired of this already.

Edited (how tf did I put in the wrong name wow self) 2018-05-02 03:05 (UTC)

It was perhaps to Chiron's benefit that he mostly focused on the victories of those in his care. He didn't quite sing of the rage of Achilles, but the matter had been covered in some extent, along with Heracles and a numberof others. The other students who had brought him pride but fought no major battles were unsung for the evening, and that pained Chiron some. For him, the esteem of his students had no hierarchy. They had all done well. His own tone was less aggressive on the surface - it was something that churned underneath in all the little ways. He wasn't sure if anyone picked up on it in full.

"Isn't that the truth." A bland reply, one suited for all ears. One that he let fall way to silence as he reached the door to his own temporary quarters, pushing it inward and then standing aside so that Siegfried could enter first.

Once they were both inside, once the door was closed, Chiron let out a weary noise that probably went on for far too long.

"I cannot speak to this place being entirely secured against prying ears, but I have done my best."

He takes the invitation into the room silently, eyes keeping watch as he passes through the door. Once it shuts, he listens and finds the weary sound from Chiron all too familiar. He'd echo it himself, but there's something that keeps him lingering in a tense state, quietly assessing the room itself before he hears about how it's been secured before he even asks.

And it's then, and only then, do his shoulders relax, Siegfried pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. "If we're going to find any peace, this will probably be the only place to do it."

With that out of the way, he leans against one of the walls, eyes tired and saying so much more than what he can in words. It's not difficult to see how overwhelming this is for him. "I see you're doing well enough, all things considered." Surviving, and trying to keep the Araneans at bay. The both of them were at the party, but Siegfried was more concerned with making sure he didn't become a Khah member's mate by mistake rather than go looking for Chiron. How much longer do they have to keep playing at these facades?

"Yes, that was my own thought process on the matter as well."

Chiron moves away from the door, as to not be so easily overheard, but he does linger near it, ready to lunge at anyone even so much as fiddling with the knob. He knows very well that a servant may still walk in on their discussion, but by god he will be ready for it or else he may finally lose patience with this place and all it stands for.

"Ah, it seems that way?" he asks in response to Siegfried's observation. The smile that follows is small and wry and makes it clear that Chiron isn't sure that he is surviving at all. "I'm glad to hear it"

Siegfried honestly can't blame his friend for being so cautious. Even if there were no spies here in the residency, he'd still be wary of speaking without some sort of wariness towards someone or something interrupting what little privacy they had.

"From my observation, yes." He can't speak for others, but Chiron has seemed solid in trying to enforce his boundaries when others are present. From what he'd heard amongst the Araneans, nothing in particular was spoken about the other spirit. The wry smile does nothing to really help his growing concern, but Siegfried doesn't mention it. They're both struggling, it seems.

There's something like a scoff that comes out of him next, however. "It's been difficult for me as well." Not berating on himself for finding it hard, but more like a frustration that this is necessary from all of them. For a man who knows nothing but kindness, being forced into playing the part of being completely ruthless and cunning has begun to seep into him far more than he likes. He doesn't feel as if he's changed, but there is more aggression from him than he's ever had to display, and the fact that it's coming to him easier over time isn't exactly a good thing, in his eyes.

Chiron takes his time to remove the COST approved uniform from his person, carefully unbuttoning it and then folding it over his forearm as Siegfried speaks. They're really two quiet souls at the end of the day, but it isn't a good thing when the level of stress begins to climb. And climb. And climb. Until the situation is what it is now, with all the fussing and exhaustion this world brings about.

"I thought I might be able to handle most of it, but being within Ymir has simply..."

Being at a loss for words is not a common occurrence. The frustration is clear on Chiron's face when he says it. "It brought up so many other things that it has been hard to sort through all of my emotions and opinions, and ensure that I can remain cool and truly focused on the matter at hand."

Several times he's been cornered by Araneans, all curious about him and what he does. Several times other people have had to bail him out, until he finally pushed back and snapped at any spider that came too close. It is a frightening and frustrating experience of which Siegfried has no reprieve from, and neither does Chiron.

"Ymir by itself is a problem." Beyond them, most don't really understand the circumstances and the consequences this means for other gods. Siegfried, of all the recruits here, may not have Ymir for his lore, but the god is still technically a part of his past and his people. Finding the spiders simply mining the bones leaves chills in his body that are beyond the effects of the magic left behind, and Siegfried does not enjoy any of it.

Even if this entire mission is to win themselves the supply they need to keep fighting back, it grates on his nerves ever so quietly. "I have been sought after often by other Araneans, to the point where I have to threaten consistently to have them step away. Some even expect me to flaunt my threats or my deeds with pride." And than makes it hard for him to remain himself but also focused for the mission. When every step must be calculated so he does not become food for an Aranean, it leaves very little time for him to truly escape the walking on eggshells he feels he has to do while here.

"I...asked myself if the fate of Ymir would be true for other gods as well. Ones we would well know. He said it was always possible. Knowing that so many of mine have sided with the Regency, that," fuck. He didn't need to finish his sentence, Siegfried was smart enough to follow where Chiron's mind went. There was a little strangled noise of frusteration instead that died in the back of Chiron's throat. "And I had someone with the audacity to question if gods were truly real back there, I can't tell you how that felt."

Hux's comments had been poorly timed. But that was another matter, one to visit later on.

"I feel you've gotten more attention than I have then, but clearly for ill." Chiron began to rub at the back of his neck, slowly working out a kink that had started to form there. "The few times it's happened, it has taken too much effort to not respond with the fact that I had a marriage and children in life and....circumstances being what they are, some aspects of those endure."

There. He hadn't told Siegfried about that yet, but it was done. Done far too late, probably.

He listens, mostly in silence, as Chiron explains what he knows about Ymir, and about the gods. When he stops, Siegfried's jaw clenches quietly as a response- it's easy enough to read what he feels about that, exactly. To have gods being used so carelessly for other means, and to only be able to hear about this and not be able to do something about it... The strangled noise doesn't go unnoticed, and he can't blame him for his frustrations.

Of course, then there's the mentioning of someone poorly talking about gods being real to Chiron, which causes Siegfried to frown further. It's one thing to state your belief to someone, but to do it so blatantly in front of someone who spent his life with the gods and worshipping them- it's a poor decision.

"I suppose it's because of my sigil." His sigil was one of the things, though honestly, almost everything about him would draw the Araneans to him for malintent. A highly magical being who was a male, and even worse, royalty during his life. He's considered food regardless of how well he does here in this society. But Chiron also mentions a family, and Siegfried blinks at the statement, tilting his head. "Your-"

He doesn't complete it, the look on his face says enough. Truthfully he'd never seen a reason to ask before now, but no one said he was ever familiar with the specifics of friendship.

"You've never asked," Chiron says simply. He doesn't need Siegfried to complete the question. And rather than say more, he holds up three fingers, making it clear how many children he had in his other life. Or that other Chiron had. Either way, at least Siegfried knows about circumstances now.

"And while it may well be due to your sigil, I doubt it's the only factor." The spiderarchy made so much of being magic, so much of status, that it was doubtlessly one aspect of many for poor Siegfried. Chiron did not envy him any of the trials he was enduring.

To return to gods, Chiron lets out low hn. "Bear in mind that some deities are with us, and...that makes this potential fate worrisome from that end of things too."

Allies slayed and mined like this. Ugh.

The reply actually gets a smile out of Siegfried, huffing out a bit of a chuckle. "I haven't, you're correct." But he goes quiet upon viewing the fingers help up for him to see, and he nods, understanding. So his other self had a family and children, a difference between the two timelines. Somehow, it doesn't surprise him.

Though Chiron has a point, and Siegfried hums a little in response. "More than likely not, no. As much as I can hope it simply is just one thing..." He doesn't finish. He doesn't need to. Even in his life, living as a prince was something he chose to push aside in favor of being a knight and helping those immediately. But here, the courts are everything, and he has to remember the proper etiquette in order to survive. It's almost as if everything has been switched, and he isn't exactly fond of it.

Still, he pauses about having gods with them in COST, and instead his mouth firms into a thin line. "Of course. And to see them fall to this-" Being used for a single purpose, far outside whatever they would have wanted... a chill runs down his spine. He hates this.

"The number is consistent between us. Names too," he says. "But there is a more important detail, and he holds up a single finger, combined with a very weary look. "With the Regency and our gods who have chosen them as well."

He wouldn't say who, but Siegfried had the right to know that. He ought to, given how long Chiron had sat on this information. It felt strange to finally share it, but...all of this had built up over the months. Sharing it had to be done.

"It isn't. And you looked as if you were another man entirely back there." Perhaps it's a wrong observation. Perhaps it isn't. But the statement might well prod Siegfried into talking more than he has about his own experience and frusterations. It clearly is something he has to get off his chest.

"I know." Chiron hates everything about this. "And if we fail in this mission, then we have to potentially turn another god into this....this resource." He can't process it. He doesn't want to.

Siegfried watches very closely at that, eyes narrowing as Chiron explains. When he leaves the vagueness in the air, Siegfried can't help but inhale sharply at the thought. He knows gods have joined the Regency- some of those of Das Ring de Nibelungen, of the Volsung saga- the other Chiron had mentioned this easily. But to have his friend mention this so late means it is of grave importance, and he will not simply bypass it as another statement.

"You already know of the ones in similar stories for me." It is an admittance he does not want to think about- but one he will, if he must. There are so many things here he must keep track of, it makes his head spin trying to focus on it all.

But the mentioning of his own appearance at the party has Siegfried sighing, clearly frustrated. "I was. Being here- I've always acted out of kindness, Chiron. You know this. To be told I cannot, and worst of all, being preyed upon until I do not... it weighs heavily on me." A snort, and his mouth twists in irritation, trying to word himself. "I'm not comfortable acting this way- but the more it is demanded of me, the harder it is to find reprieve in which I can be myself, as I am here."

"We won't." Perhaps it's foolish of him to say it so soon, perhaps it isn't. He's not trying to get ahead of himself- only trying to convince himself that they are here for a purpose, and that once that purpose is done, they can leave. He does not want to think about what will happen if they fail.

Chiron, when he learned that one of his other self's children had sided with the Regency, could only imagine the hurt. It felt wrong to share it on a certain level, after al it was a his child, not the one that was his, but so much of the family element here had sat heavy in his heart. It was one thing to accept fighting in the Grail War against students, or even fighting against his own gods here. But family was harder to have that attitude towards.

"I do. As does Thor. He and I spoke about the matter since..." since Ymir is his. And while Thor is no Heroic Spirit, he's probably one of the few others who understands why this matter is so distressing.

As Siegfried explains his own frustrations, there is a softer noise from Chiron. It is understanding, but it also expresses concern. Like going on in this way for too much longer might force them all to stay in this aggressive mode forever. "Then let this be as close to sacntuary for you as will be afforded on this mission. If only to ensure that you remain yourself. For it to be otherwise would be a great loss."

Chiron wants to believe Siegfried about the matter of mining gods. He does because the alternative is disgusting on every level. "Then we need to find a better way to succeed."

Family has always been difficult to fight or struggle against. Siegfried knows that while his mother and father will never be taken by the Throne, his wife is another story. And if there ever comes a time where they both cross paths, he doesn't know what he'll do. In that sense, he understands Chiron completely.

"I can only imagine he took it as well as we have." Thor, son of Odin and resident of Asgard, watching Ymir be harvested like a thing rather than what the god once was. "I haven't met him as of yet, but I'm sure that will change easily enough." After all, from what he knows of the legends, Thor really isn't hard to locate. Most of the time, the crowd finds him first.

Still, something soft flickers across Siegfried's face before easing into a more relaxed and familiar look. He's tired, and it shows. But the encouragement given to him is appreciated, even though he seems almost redundant in speaking. "My thanks." There is an exhale at that, and even if this time in Chiron's quarters is short, it gives Siegfried enough time to be himself, without the worry of potentially dying.

He nods. He refuses to let it come to that. "And we will. We just need to find an opening."

"He'd...he'd get along with Astolfo as if they were well worn battle companions. They share much of the same personality." They'd be a formidable combination in battle as well, but perhaps that goes without saying. For Chiron's money, the companionship that would form would be a far greatert thing.

He did wonder what Rider would make of this entire thing, in truth, but nostaglia for teammates was hardly something he could allow for at the moment. "At any rate, I hope you cross paths soon. For all the somberness of what's going on, he's remarkably easy to talk to. And it's nice having...well. Someone else with age and an understanding of gods."

No one that needed explaining or even just a hint of understanding. He knew, because he was one.

More than that, the tiredness on Siegfried's face, along with the fact he's willing to show it, gives Chiron a feeling of solidarity that he's glad to know exists. Voicing any complaints or just venting in general about his mission has felt wrong on every level but. Ah, well. It's Siegfried. They're friends. They can do this.

"That's what friendship is for, you know. As for openings," Chiron's voice drifts.

"I'd like to find one sooner rather than later."

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[closed]...And the spiders from Mars

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