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Ashitaka to Mordred: You're beautiful
WHO? Achilles, Mordred, and eventually Ashitaka.
WHAT? Achilles and Mordred have this brilliant idea of stealing all the food in the palace.
WHEN? After feminism is saved in Paris 1792.
ANYTHING ELSE? This will be so dumb
WHAT? Achilles and Mordred have this brilliant idea of stealing all the food in the palace.
WHEN? After feminism is saved in Paris 1792.
ANYTHING ELSE? This will be so dumb
[ The Palace of Versailles is a massive structure, even for these two heroes, whose egos are mutually just as large if not larger. Getting in was no problem; it was just a matter of phasing through the walls as spiritual energy and materializing once they were inside. Finding the cold storage and the kitchen, however? Is turning out to be more of a lengthy process than they might have expected.
It's going to take a bit of trial and error.
At least they've found themselves in the Hall of Mirrors, which is breathtakingly beautiful. Of course, Achilles takes a bit of time to admire the decor, but he ends up being mostly preoccupied with fixing his hair in one of the mirrors as Mordred proceeds past him. ]
Hey, Saber. [ Girl, come here... ] Have you thought about what we should do if we run into the royal guard?

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Your wife? Come up with something better than that, idiot Rider. [ She throws his coat back at him, revealing her obviously military outfit. Oops. ] Just say we're guests looking for the kitchen. Seriously, it's not that hard.
[ Directly to Ashitaka: ]
Hey. You're the type to follow orders, right? So go ahead and show us.
[ It's the first time she's actually acknowledged his presence... after ruining every single part of Achilles' plan. ]
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But if that's the case, who allowed them inside? He would have to ask later.
At the man's mention of him cleaning up after their own crime, he looks down to the broken glass on the floor and then back up to the stranger with his doubtful look progressing further to take a, "that's not my department" sort of cast.
He addresses the young woman first.] I follow orders, but from those I am required to. [He glances to the man next.] The royal family expected no guests by your names and descriptions. [Certainly not those crass enough to get into a quarrel and break something in one of their royal chambers. His tone of voice held more accusation than his words did.] Come with me.
[He didn't really give off the vibe that he was taking them to the kitchens, either.]
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But what can they do? He's the type to go with the flow and it seems this guard, though seemingly not from here, is catching onto their ruse. Who would have thought the guards were briefed on all the current happenings in the palace? Though it would have been smart, considering the tension in the city lately...
Anyway, at the demand, Achilles just shares a look with Mordred that reads like, "yeah, no".
He crosses his arms and sighs. ] Your job is to protect the royal family, so I can respect what you're trying to do and I get why you think we're suspicious.
But we didn't come here with the intention of harming anyone. It's in your best interest to step aside.
What's your name?
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We're not falling for that. [ For once, she's in agreement with Achilles. She crosses her arms as well, though at 5'1 compared to his 6', it's considerably less intimidating. ] Seriously, just take us where we want to go. If you don't, I'll be forced to eat your soul... or something like that.
[ She says this with a completely straight face. ]
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With the voices of the people in the city reaching a gradual crescendo of violence, with its fiery focus centered on the royal family, it shouldn't be a surprise that security was tight. Ashitaka was no fresh-faced recruit; he had been here long enough to know the rhythms and routines, the pulse of those filtering in and out of the royal apartments. These two simply did not fit. And even if they were, by some miracle, guests of the palace, they would not have leave to wander the halls in the dead of night unattended.
He stares at them flatly as they do not move. At an impasse, apparently.]
By your own logic, I should allow any stranger from the streets of Paris to wander the royal palace so long as they promised me they intended to do no harm to the royal family. [His voice is calm, though laced with the slightest tinge of derision. Congratulations! That's probably the first time he's even broached upon something vaguely sarcastic.] You are intruders who have already caused damage to property. You stand on no ground to make demands.
[For him to take them anywhere, or for him to give them his name. He had been far too generous in giving it out up until this point regardless.
He looks to the woman now, expression just as flat and tone of voice matching as he replies:] You would not find it to your liking.
[He's not joking. His soul was tangled with the rotting vestige of a hateful god. Not pleasant.
To both of them now:] I will escort you off of these lands. I have been generous enough to you thus far.
[He has neither risen an alarm nor drawn a weapon on them. He thinks he's been more than generous.]
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SIGHS... He just sighs. And then crosses his arms, looking over at Mordred expectantly. ]
Then this will be unavoidable.
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[ She's still more than strong enough to take out a human, which she assumes Ashitaka is, but she really needs to eat. Unlike Achilles, she's not a thot, and she's already tired of feeling so exhausted, always on the verge of fading.
She really should just kill this guy, or at least incapacitate him. Maybe she would have, in life. But against all odds, she takes one last shot at diplomacy. ]
You seem new. How long have you been here? Say... about a month? [ She's watching his reaction carefully. If he reacts like a normal soldier, she'll knock him out and be done with it. If he shows any sign of being one of their enemies, she'll do a lot more than that. But maybe, just maybe, he's even more foreign to this land than he looks, just like the rest of them are. ]
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At word of a fight he places his hand on the hilt of the sword buckled at his side. It was, to his extreme misfortune, a weapon that was mostly kept for show. The balance was poor and the blade could use some work as well. But, considering the rifle was useless to him, it would be the only thing he could use -
His attention focuses on the young woman at the question. Scrutinizing his reaction is a little difficult; he doesn't give away much, just vague calculations behind his eyes. His answer isn't immediate, however, so one could read from that what they wished. In the end he asks,] Why do you ask? [rather than answer. Which, in itself, is also an answer.
Because he had been asking much the same thing of other palace guards, trying to track down the spies that had infiltrated their number.]
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He noticed he was a foreigner, and while it is possible he has nothing to do with COST and just happens to be an immigrant, it's just as possible that he happens to be one of them.
Just what would he be doing posing as a guard in the palace? Is he a spy? ]
Likely because she suspects you were brought here with COST. [ The name of the organization will have no meaning to him if he doesn't know what it is. ] You're Japanese, aren't you?
[ He recognizes the accent and how similar it is to Ryuji's. ]
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What he said. [ Mordred: "What the fuck is a Japanese", probably. ] We'll know if you're lying, so don't even try it.
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His impassivity makes him a little difficult to read, but there is a slight spark to his eye as he mentions COST. There's caution there as well, though. To his perspective, they could be either COST or Regency, and clearly declaring himself as the former would put himself into danger if they ended up being the latter.]
I am. [The answer is a little hesitant, but he's unsure if they could use that information against him. It didn't have the power that a name had. It's actually nice for someone to guess correctly for once; he's gotten used to everyone in the palace assuming him to be Chinese instead. For some reason, that made more sense to them.]
Are you with COST or the Regency? [He decides to just come out and ask... he's not very subtle either.] I have been truthful with you, so I would ask for truth in return.
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Well, she's bluffing on one thing. Though they're spirits and are composed of magic, they don't have any supreme abilities like being able to tell if someone's lying.
So he crosses his arms, seemingly appraising Ashitaka. At least give him the credit of trying to go along with Mordred's ruse, unlike Mordred herself. ]
We're with COST as well.
That supposedly makes us comrades, then.
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When Achilles confirms their allegiance, Mordred nods her agreement. But when he says comrades, she smirks. ]
That's right. We're comrades. [ This is not a trustworthy face. She steps closer to Ashitaka, trying to get an arm around his shoulders. ] So you should definitely take us to the kitchen. Come on, don't be stingy with your allies.
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When he learns this, he removes his hand from the hilt of his sword, though he still looks cautious. Sure, they might not be an infiltration squad from their enemy, but that meant that the next worst thing was true: they were so-called "comrades" of his that didn't seem to have any issue interfering with his COST-given mission.
So when Mordred steps closer to him, trying to throw an arm around his shoulders, he carefully steps away. Sorry, Mordred...]
I am here on COST's orders, trying to locate Regency spies within the palace. Your being here is endangering that.
[JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMEONE AT A RESTAURANT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WILL GET FREE FOOD WHENEVER YOU WANT Y'ALL]
Why must you come here? There is plenty of food in the city.
[Plenty that might not blow his cover.]
I'm so sorry for being slow...
Plenty of food? Have you been blinded by the luxuries of this palace?
[ He laughs slightly. ] We're not human, Saber and I. For us Heroic Spirits, the only way we can sustain ourselves is by eating more than a human is capable of stomaching, or extracting mana from a human.
And we can do that either by taking their soul or bedding them.
So you should understand how we've been mildly inconvenienced. Would you be willing to lend yourself for the sake of compromise?
i can't believe you've done this to me
But... if they were so brazen about stealing it, they probably could've found much easier stores to steal from. It wouldn't have been impossible to find one.
As for the rest of it,
it's a lot of information to process at once, even for a young man who had killed a god. His brow furrows, deciding that he must take whatever the stranger says for truth, as he had earlier. At first he thinks it sounds merely wasteful (why did COST have to decide upon soldiers that would, at baseline, eat far more than any human might?), but as he continues, the issue changes into a different permutation.
At first Ashitaka is surprised, only really noticeable through his typical impassivity as an added stillness and tension through his shoulders. Then, once he actually comprehends what the man meant by that last bit (and it does take him a few seconds), that impassivity breaks for a moment as his complexion gets decidedly red.
To his credit, he recovers swiftly, albeit damages already being done.] No. [The answer is dropped like a stone, solid and unyielding. He looks away from the two a moment, breath leaving him in an aggravated huff. The mark along his right side gave a pulse, and he had to try to wave the frustration away; it would only feed upon it. If they were truly going to be this bullheaded about refusing to leave, and if continuing to refuse would at all continue this conversation along that route, Ashitaka had to see it as pragmatic to simply minimize damages.
Another short sigh.]
Follow me.
[And he begins to lead them down the hallway.]
RIP
Don't get the wrong idea. Unlike Rider, I have no intention of doing either of those things. [ He a thot, she a not. She grins over at Ashitaka specifically. ] But it would have been pretty lame of you to refuse us after that, right?
[ Her stomach growls. It sounds almost ominous, like thunder rumbling overhead, and she licks her lips in anticipation. ]
I bet you guys get fresh supplies all the time, so it's fine if we eat everything that's there now. [ Wait. ]
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Achilles and Mordred exchange grins to each other (I'm godmodding), though Achilles looks more smug than jovial.
But ... at the remark, he falters. ]
What - what's that supposed to mean? I'm not the one in need of mana!!
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Regardless, he's marching ahead, grateful for the relative darkness of the nighttime halls (as his ears were still burning a bit with embarrassment).
He glances to the young woman as she catches up. His frown grows a little more pronounced - though there something seems to be almost along the lines of relief as she claims her intentions to be different than the man's were. He looks ahead again.] Had I any ability to forcibly remove the two of you, I would take it. But I do not.
[So yeah, you win this one. Congrats.
He shoots the woman a sharp look at her expectations, however.]
No. It could be explained away if some of the food went missing, but all of it? We would have an investigation, and that is something we cannot afford right now. [He lowers his voice.] It's dangerous enough that I am helping you at all, so please show some restraint.
[Could they really eat all the food? He takes people at their word, true, but it seemed impossible. He's seen the food stores before, and, just, physically it would make no sense.]
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I don't mind leaving the vegetables.
[ Are you five... (Well.) Achilles, as always, makes her roll her eyes, and she glances back at Ashitaka instead. ]
You can remove Rider if you want. Like he said, he doesn't need to be here. [ She smirks. ] I'm sure you can figure out a way.
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Achilles can't dispute that, though. He's here on account of a former teammate, and it seems as though she's in capable hands. ]
Pfft. Like a human could ever hope to lay a finger on me. Don't go insulting a hero like that.
[ EW... THIS ASSHOLE. ]
I'll leave if it makes things simpler for you.
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[He can't believe he's doing this. (And is she serious? They have full sides of beef in the cellar. Where would it fit... where does it go...)
Somehow the man still seemed to be doing something for her cause, however, even past his apparent help up until this point - though, right now, it's mostly because it's making the woman seem more palatable to deal with in comparison (though this opinion might change once she starts eating him out of house and home, literally).]
You have a strange idea of a "hero." [It's a tone about as derisive as Ashitaka could manage, accompanied by a cool look. In his experience, self-aggrandizing braggarts weren't even worth it, and even the pride of gods could lead to their corruption and eventual fall. But he's not really looking for a fight, so he doesn't want to push it.]
I have no power over your actions, as you have told me several times. I will take you to the food stores, supervise, and then make sure you leave the palace grounds without causing a commotion. All else is your own decision.
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Don't get him started.
[ Nobody wants to listen to Achilles brag about his heroism for ten hours. Least of all her. ]
Leaving won't be a problem. I don't want you to lose your position here. [ There's... something less than charitable in her expression. Something that says she's only saying as much because she can get food out of him this way. In fact: ] I'll let you know when I'm coming next time, so there won't be any fuss like before.
[ How many assumptions can someone make in one sentence? ]
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Well, enjoy having your fill, Saber.
[ LEAVES IN A CLOUD OF MANA PARTICLES. ]
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The man bids his farewell and... well, when he disappears, Ashitaka begins to understand how they had gotten in here in the first place. It's both a worry that such things were possible and a relief that the guard wasn't as incompetent as he had thought.]
I see what you mean. [About leaving, that is.
It's nice to hear that she at least has some considerations about his position here, but he nearly misses a step when she continues. Next time?]
I... [He's without words for a moment. Congratulations, Mordred. That doesn't happen to him very often. He shakes his head, hoping to clear it.] No. There cannot be a "next time."
[He would like to get this hammered out soon because they're almost to where the food stores are... so close to no turning back.]
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Probably not. ]
You heard what he said. [ Yeah, he sure did. ] This won't sustain me forever. If we're here longer than a few days, I'll need to eat a lot again.
There's not much food outside here. Not a lot that's easy to get to, anyway. [ Implying this was easy to get to... but she means all in once place. She'd have to raid ten, a hundred houses, to get the kind of supplies gathered here. ] I don't care about humans, but coming here is a lot more practical than taking from some starving peasant.
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Ashitaka is too busy being frustrated at COST for finding initiates who require so much to just exist. Perhaps the sacrifice was worth it and they were truly useful assets (being able to fly through walls was already pretty useful, he would have to admit), but as he was juggling his own mission and trying not to stand out any more than a Japanese man already did in the French royal palace, it was a headache he didn't really need right now.
But here he was, leading her to the storerooms, so there's no getting out of it now.
He supposes he understands her position and her point, he's just frustrated about the necessity of this at all.
The hallway widens, and he leads them to a wide set of heavy wooden doors. Inside is the kitchen in one of the few, rare hours were the fires have died down and all of the workers have been permitted to rest.] This way. [He circumvents the maze of tables and preparation equipment by following the perimeter of the room to the right, taking them to a smaller door.
Through this one, down a cramped and slightly creaky staircase, and they're in the cool storeroom. It's dark enough that he can't see very well what's all in it, but the echo to his voice when he speaks implies it's expansive.] Please leave enough food for breakfast tomorrow, at the very least.
[He's trying not to think too much about "I don't care about humans" and how caustic it felt to him.
But taking from the exorbitant probably was better than stealing from those struggling to feed their families.]
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She grins in the darkness, laughing softly, but quiets a little at his request. ]
... Well, I'll try. [ Even if her tone says she probably won't try at all. She claps a hand against Ashitaka's back, remembering how he'd dodged her arm earlier. ] Thanks. What's your name? I'll pay you back sometime.
[ Maybe. ]
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This time when she reaches out to clap him on the back he doesn't dodge out of it. He doesn't really respond, however, standing stock still and just regarding her with a vaguely troubled expression. I'll try. It's not much, but he knows it's all he'll get.
He's at first unsure what to say about his name, as he had been reminded by the sergeant to be more cautious with it. But she was also with COST, so there was no harm in truth here.] Ashitaka. [Pause.] You can pay me back now by showing good judgment and not causing a commotion.
[He steps away from her, towards the stairs leading back up to the kitchens.] I should return to my patrol. You will be fine from here?
[He mostly just gets the feeling he doesn't really want to be here for whatever's about to happen, regardless of the shred of human curiosity he has to see if she'd been telling the truth about that appetite...]
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Totally fine. [ And, since he was nice enough to let her clap him on the back, she reaches to (jokingly) push him up the stairs. ] I'll leave the same way Rider did, so don't worry. Your boring patrol won't get interrupted again.
[ He'll just be left with the aftermath, which is.............. well.
Hope they don't need any meat tomorrow. ]
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He sighs.]
Just be sure to contact me ahead of time if you really must return.
[So he can mentally prepare himself...
And then he trudges up the stairs and back to his patrol, trying his best not to think of how much of an uproar the kitchen is going to be in the following morning.]